One of my favorite Geico commercials shows a woman asking Abe Lincoln, “Does this dress make my backside look big?” Lincoln, like any man reading between the lines, probably knows the correct answer is an unwavering and immediate “No. Not at all. You look amazing.” But instead, after one of the greatest long pauses in television history, he answers: “Perhaps a little.”
The point of the reference is that Abe had situational background knowledge, context around the question, knew to listen to what was truly being communicated beyond physical words and undoubtedly would have answered correctly had he not been plagued with eternal honesty.
Learning to sincerely listen to your clients is crucial for account managers and anyone with a desire to strengthen and maintain good relationships. Listening is not just hearing – becoming a good listener is a learned skill. You’re probably familiar with the various types of listening: passive (tuning out nearly everything), selective (tuning out everything until you specifically are mentioned), and active (clearly hearing and understand what is being said.) Finally, there is perceptive listening, which includes all the attributes of active listening but adds intuitive understanding of the thinking behind the words, body language and voice tone used to deliver them.
To listen effectively, you first have to become wholly and solely focused on the individual and the conversation. So ditch your iPhone, iPad, iWhatever. Put them in your bag, leave them in your office, or throw them off a cliff. Your client deserves your undivided attention and respect. Put a sock in it while they are talking; this isn’t a time to interrupt with your own opinions. This is especially important when you may be receiving bad news or you’re having a conversation you don’t agree with. Don’t let your emotions become the distraction that takes you away from getting the full picture.
Everyone, clients included, has an innate desire to be heard and understood. Peter Bregman wrote in the Harvard Business Review: “Until people feel heard, they will fight to be heard. But once they are heard, there is little left to fight for, and then [the conversation] can move on, not as ‘us’ versus ‘them’ but simply as ‘us.’” I firmly believe that. If you hope to get something accomplished efficiently, you have to be in an “us” place with your client. Otherwise, both sides are just spinning wheels.
Listening to your client goes beyond just hearing and taking action toward the words being said. For starters, come into the conversation with an understanding of the client’s industry, challenges and their long-term objectives. Read body language and watch for differences between verbal communication and physical delivery. Effective listening also requires patience. Your client may not be the most eloquent speaker or have the most exacting vocabulary. That’s OK, because neither do you. But you should feel empowered to ask as many questions as it takes to get to a complete understanding of what is being communicated. Don’t ask them to repeat what they’re saying, instead, ask questions that get more clarification or provide broader context. I’ve never once had someone complain that I asked too many questions if I am sincerely trying to make clarify an issue. In many cases this can help the client better define their own point and they’ll appreciate your earnest effort to understand.
Above all, I believe being a good listener takes sincerity. You have to want to understand the issue and the client has to believe you want to understand as well. Admittedly, you may have to get yourself to that place prior to the conversation sometimes but let’s face it – if you’re not a good listener clients aren’t going to keep calling you. And that’s not good for anybody.
Listening Basics
- Be 100% committed to the conversation; remove all distractions and really connect with the person you’re talking to
- Repeat key points of what is being said to you when appropriate; at the very least repeat key points in your head
- Never interrupt, and never allow interruptions
- Summarize the conversation verbally to ensure agreement and follow with a written recap, if appropriate
- If the conversation loses your attention, move around in your chair or adjust your position and reconnect with the conversation at hand
Nathan Stuckey is Account Supervisor at Luckie & Company. You can contact him by email.
Photo credit: Melvin Gaal via Flickr
